On Baby #4

1.  I am entering into my final month of pregnancy.  Overall, this pregnancy been a good one--outside of of some extra monitoring (that has all had positive results thus far!), I think that I am pretty lucky.  My body handles pregnancy pretty well and I can actually enjoy seasons of it.  There are definitely big differences between my first pregnancy and this one but the one that stands out the most is the fatigue.  Oh. my.  There is a reason that a lot of women stop having babies in their "advanced maternal" years.  (OK, so I do have three young children that contribute to this as well.)  But, regardless of your age, it always feels like somebody puts the brakes on when you reach that final month or so.  I remember I would wake up in tears in my final days with Cyril because I hadn't gone into labor that night.  I remember saying, "I know that I can't be pregnant forever but I think that I AM going to be pregnant forever!"  (FYI--he came 10 days EARLY and this was my mental state.  Oh how I feel for those women who go well beyond their due dates.)

Truth.

2.  It's amazing the small gestures that people can do that turn out to be the most awesome unexpected blessings.  Recently, I was talking to a woman at the bus stop and her girls.  Her girls were excited to see that I was pregnant and started telling me all about their family with five young children.  We talked about the awesomeness of large families.  That afternoon, the mom volunteered to pick our daughter up each morning and bring her back from the bus stop in the afternoon so that I wouldn't have to worry about getting the other kids ready and/or risk falling on the way to the bus stop.  SO NICE!  She drives by my house both directions but just that small gesture has made life SO much easier for me.

3.  We recently hosted Thanksgiving dinner for a "small" group of people....um, 20 to be exact.  When I would tell people this, they would look at me in amazement but it is SO much better than having to drive somewhere with three kids plus one ready to pop out.  Plus, my 2 year old has been stuck to me like glue lately but as soon as G-Pa showed up, he never left his side.  So, in addition to getting to see family, I got a nice 4 day break from hauling a 32 lb toddler around on my hip. Score.

G-Pa! G-Pa!  Total admiration

4.  I have to admit that at times I get overwhelmed by it all.  I have those moments in the morning, staring at a waffle with my 5 year old in the background telling me that she doesn't want to go to school, my 4 year old complaining about not having strawberries, and my 2 year old crying at my side to pick him up, and I think, "how in the world are we going to do this?"  Or I think about everything that needs to get done in the next few weeks and I consider NOT wrapping Christmas presents and just putting everything under the tree in paper grocery bags.  But then I remember about the time that I was stressing at the very beginning of this pregnancy and praying "I know this is the path that you have chosen for us.  I know this child is of You and I have listened but I'm still kind of freaking out over here.  How is this going to work out in the end?"  (Ah, to have that answer EVER!)  And, standing in my dining room in a quiet house, with all the kids asleep, I heard God say "Trust Me."

As I enter my final month of pregnancy, I cling to those two words.

Obligatory in-the-mirror selfie of pregnant belly @ 35.5 wks